The Awakening a Restless Soul.

I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I felt in myself a superabundance of energy which found no outlet in our quiet life.

― Leo Tolstoy

It should not be denied... that being footloose has always exhilarated us. It is associated in our minds with escape from history and oppression and law and irksome obligations, with absolute freedom, and the road has always led west.

― Wallace Stegner

There is a restless nature within all of man. Everyone experiences that moment when the answer to all your problems is to run, to do something to challenge your very existence. Perhaps it is a way to prove your worthiness or to push yourself to a place where you really feel what it is to live. Sacrifice, pain, love, excitement, and danger are the extremes; they are the emotions that are seldom present in everyday, normal life. They are the emotions that only present themselves in rare moments. In those moments where you are pushed to question yourself, where you have more to lose than to gain, is when life becomes worthwhile and meaningful. The desire to “run” and allow whatever momentum you discover to overtake you, is a dream that courses through all.

Just by reading these excerpts, I feel inspired to go, to try, and to just take a chance. The secret wish to allow oneself to let go and lose control in the hopes to stumble across something unexpected is what leads many seeking the further meaning behind their average life. Letting go of all that ties us and permitting ourselves to no longer allow responsibilities to define and shape our lives, was part of Alex’s motivation to leave behind Chris McCandless. He wanted to feel real life, and not as our monotone society presents it. To feel life, one must first be alive and Chris did not feel truly awake yet. This concept of setting off to reinvent, to find truth amidst a world full of lies, to sacrifice all that is said to hold meaning in order to find a greater purpose was the fuel for Alex’s transcendental journey.

Happy Trails

Reinvention or Self-Improvement. What would you choose?

Many people fantasy of reinventing themselves. The hope of becoming a better person than the one you see yourself as now is an easy desire to fall into. However there is a difference between reinvention and self-improvement. Your past actions are part of what define you as a person. Although many may not be proud of their yesterday, they should embrace that it has made them the person they are today. Everyone has the ability to take what they are and expand it. I am proud of the person I have become, but there are parts of me which I sometimes want to fix. People should focus on those areas of improvement and act on it rather than dwelling on the “what if’s”. The idea of completely recreating yourself is intriguing but I would not want to complete erase the person I have become. I would not want to forget the person I have been working to become. Life is a journey and the person I am today is because of the choices I made yesterday.

Like many others, I don’t yet know who I am. If I were to erase the person I am today, how will I know what I could be tomorrow. I know the type of person I would like to become so I take little steps to push myself there. One goal of mine is to study abroad my junior year. I don’t know where or even what I will be studying at that point but it is still a goal I am working toward.

This idea of self improvement and how the choices you make impact your life made me think of the poem “The Dash” by Linda Ellis.

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke of the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard;
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
And more often wear a smile,
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Happy Trails :)

"An aesthetic voyager whose home is the road."

Alexander Supertramp was his own man. He did not allow the confines of society and the judgmental opinions of people define who he saw himself to be. He was a revolutionary thinker and an idealist. He was a transcendentalist and somebody who saw beyond the narrow and biased. He, above all else, wanted to feel free in a place where spiritual and self-freedom is limited and rare. His goal for living such an isolated life was to find this self-liberation and, keeping this in mind, he did ultimately achieve just what he set out to discover. Although Chris made a fatal mistake, foolish would not be the word to describe his endeavors. His goal from the start of his journey was for self-discovery. I admire Chris’s courage to walk away from the comfort of home and into a place of unknowns. In the time he spent on his travels, he gathered more wisdom than many will uncover in their lifetime. Alexander Supertramp is a true visionary and inspiration. All he desired from life was life itself and the truth behind it. It is unfortunate that he would lose his life along this journey but he lived with a purpose. Sometimes the greatest, clearest minds can be difficult to understand. Chris had a very hubristic attitude but looking beyond his occasional lofty, pompous nature, he was a true explorer.

This was "the climactic battle to kill the false being within and victoriously conclude the spiritual pilgrimage. No longer to be poisoned by civilization he flees, and walks alone upon the land to become lost in the wild."

Happy Trails

I believe that there is a subtle magnetism in Nature, which, if we unconsciously yield to it, will direct us aright. ~Henry David Thoreau

Outside the confines of society, nature exists. Here there are no restrictions or limitations. It is a place, a state of being, where you are free to exist simply and openly. It is a part of everyone and is something which guides all living creatures. It is the common thread which connects everyone, and should therefore be respected.

Nature has always played a constant role in my life. My earliest memories from my childhood involve me playing in my big backyard which seemed to be full of endless possibilities. I have countless memories of hiking or backpacking with my family. Just sitting and silently being a part of nature brings me comfort and clarity. One of my fondest memories was when I found myself standing on top of Mount Washington after a three day backpacking trip. I can remember looking out over the hills and valleys, seeing where I can from to where I then stood. The view was endless and breathtaking. The silence I heard standing atop this great mountain was profound. Nature’s complex simplicity is its most beautiful, yet mysterious quality.

The need and desire, even if it is very small, to be a part of nature exists in everyone. People, some more frequently than others, always have a tendency to be drawn to the natural. Even if you are not an “outdoorsy” person, humans can easily find the beauty in nature. The perfect and most common example would the act of giving flowers to show your compassion and send your love. In today’s world, people have removed themselves further from the natural and, by doing so, have further removed ourselves from what makes us human. Nature provides us with an outlet, a simple explanation to life’s greater questions. It’s careful, elegant beauty holds the secrets to the human soul and without taking the chance to become a part of nature, you will never achieve spiritual wholeness. We all are a part of nature; it is the reason for our existence. Without it, we would have nothing and be nothing. It is a part of everything that makes life pure and complete.

Happy Trails.

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in. ~John Muir

Six feet is all we need?

In Leo Tolstoy’s short story “How Much Land Does a Man Need” man’s greedy nature is put under speculation. As I read, I was reminded of Eddie Vedder’s song “Society”. The three verses of the song complete summarize and embody all that Tolstoy is expressing:

Oh it's a mystery to me.
We have a greed, with which we have agreed...
and you think you have to want more than you need...
until you have it all, you won't be free.
---------
When you want more than you have, you think you need...
and when you think more then you want, your thoughts begin to bleed.
I think I need to find a bigger place...
cause when you have more than you think, you need more space.
---------
There's those thinkin' more or less, less is more,
but if less is more, how you keepin' score?
It means for every point you make, your level drops.
Kinda like you're startin' from the top...
and you can't do that.

In order to understand what Tolstoy is saying, first one must distinguish the difference between a need and a want. There are very few material items which we need to survive. However we tend to confuse our needs with the desire to acquire material items for the believed purpose of self-fulfillment. “I need to have at least 20 different pairs of shoes.” Or “I need to own the Lamborghini Gallardo Superleggera.” when in reality, owning these items will not bring the true, internal happiness many seek. Temporary pleasure yes, however the “need” and greed to always get more is never ending. Because the capacity of the human mind is limitless, our desires therefore are also limitless. In essence, we will be in a perpetual state of wanting more in the hopes of achieving personal satisfaction. As Tolstoy pointed out, the more you allow greed to consume you, the harder it will be to find happiness. 

“You often earn more than you need, you are very likely to lose all you have.” - Leo Tolstoy

However, I should point out that there is nothing wrong with wanting to be successful and own nice things. Our society is based around the concept of achieving and acquiring. It is all about finding a balance between these superficial objects and yourself. You should not allow these material things to define your life and its meaning.

Think about it, how much of what you own now do you really need?

Happy Trails.

Before I travel "into the wild"...

Well hello there! It seems as if you have stumbled upon my blog. My name is Shayna and I am a student at Juniata College, a quaint little liberal arts school in central Pennsylvania. After successfully finishing my first semester here, I feel as if everything is beginning to fall into place. At the moment, my plan is to major in psychology with the hopes of eventually earning a PhD. I have only been at Juniata for one semester, but it has already become my home.

I enjoy the little things life has to offer; those spontaneous, small things that make me smile. A walk through the woods, being outside during the winter's first snow, spending the day in an art museum, like the MOMA or the MET, surrounding myself with VanGogh, Monet, Turner, Klimt, Kandinsky and Degas. I have a passion for nature and the arts, so I was very happy when I discovered I would be reading the travels of “Alexander Supertramp” for my English class. Over the next couple of weeks I will be recording my thoughts and feelings about John Krakauer’s inspirational novel. I am not quite sure where this project will take me, but I am up for the journey.

Happy Travels.